my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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