she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
