Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
