end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
