Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
