I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
is it fun? or sober?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
