And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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