this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
