ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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