My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
