i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Randomize
