Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Don't make out with my wife yet
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
