Just fell off a train. Bad.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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