Jerry, you need to find god
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I touched a dick in church today
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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