i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
