the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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