it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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