and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
