well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
