haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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