i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
