Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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