Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
