totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
These tits shall not be calmed
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
