Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You took a bar mat shot.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
