I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
