we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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