I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
