Cold hands, warm shart.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
