We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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