I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
