im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize