called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
My dick has a subreddit
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
