you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize