Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
