Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
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