hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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