I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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