After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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