a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Randomize
