There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
