I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
