apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
