People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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