I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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