How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize