ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
