it hurts more in the daytime
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
