Dual....:-)
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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