Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
