this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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