can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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