i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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