I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
