You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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