i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
wow bdsm is so cute
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