I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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