Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
