you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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