Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
