last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
