Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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