bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
