Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
