Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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