I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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