I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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