Kiss
Puke
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Randomize
