Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
