I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
