He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
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