I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My vagina is very pro this idea
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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