Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
