Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
