it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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