I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
