Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
