is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i barfeds in our rink
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
